Action Cures Fear

Last week I read in The Magic of Thinking Big that action cures fear. It hit me really hard that this has been the key to my past failures and recent successes. The lens through which I see my past has been clouded by the failures I've gone through. I've had a fairly pessimistic view of my past up until recently. I couldn't see past the failures because I had let them define who I thought I was. 

The mentors I now have, are helping me see my past through a different lens. Part of that lens is to search for and remember the positive experiences and the positive part of the experiences I've had. While the other part of the lens is the idea that the worst predictor of your future is your past. If you let the past govern your future, you are not likely to improve much. If you are searching for excellence, you will get over the past and dream a vision for the future. You will be intentional about creating your future. 

So to bring this back to what I first said about action curing fear, the key to improving my future intentionally has been to take action. Taking little steps in confidence every day improves confidence every day. And consistent actions taken over long periods of time create habits and habits become who we are. My recent successes aren't of an outward nature necessarily, but to me they are significant. They have come as I've worked to make small changes every day to improve myself so I can improve my influence with those around me. 

I'd like to segue here to a thought that came to mind as I typed the last paragraph. It's the idea of confidence and how confidence is learned... or destroyed. In this next part, I am going to share something very personal because one of the greatest lessons I've ever learned was only learned because of this personal experience. 

First: The Lesson

In The Magic of Thinking Big, Dr. Schwartz shares the story of a great student who learned this lesson because he cheated once in hopes of maintaining his "A" in the class. His guilt for his actions betrayed his actions before he was caught or accused by anyone else. Dr. Schwartz explained that usually this matter of right and wrong is handled on a religious or moral level, but the truth he shared is this: "When you do anything that goes contrary to your conscience, you feel guilty, and this guilty feeling jams your thought processes. You can't think straight because your mind is asking 'Will I get caught? Will I get caught?'"

He says that when we go against the desire to be right, think right, and act right, "we put a cancer in our conscience." That cancer grows by consuming confidence. But if we will keep our conscience satisfied by doing what's right, our confidence grows -- not the cancer. 

Second: My experience

When I read this section, my mind opened up and I realized that a HUGE part of why I have lacked the confidence I might have had is that for fifteen years, I fed the cancer through a pornography addiction. Pornography is immoral and therefore goes against my conscience. So because I was constantly going against my God-given desire to be right, think right and act right, the cancer quickly ate up all the confidence I had and began to wear down whatever is left after all the confidence is gone. It clouded up my mind (jammed my thoughts) so that I couldn't see anymore. 

I hid my addiction for years, hoping no one would find out. I tried to get out by myself several times, but never succeeded. I thought I would be able to overcome it without anyone ever knowing about it. This only hurt more because I was keenly aware that at any moment I could be discovered. So for fifteen years I consciously and stubbornly went against my conscience and created a cancer that nearly consumed everything I ever held dear.

I've now been "sober" for nine months or so and my confidence has come back in an extraordinary way that I never thought possible. The cancer is in remission because I am feeding my confidence with right thinking and actions. 

As a side note: I read somewhere else the other day that pornography has caused many people to develop ADD. That fits well with the idea that guilt jams your thoughts. 

So my personal testimony is that doing what's right builds your confidence and is thinking your way to success. --Intentional Improvement!

The Purpose

The first thing I want to write about is my purpose in keeping this blog. I've been told that a clearly defined purpose is one of the keys to success in any endeavor. As I start this, though, I am not sure exactly what I am trying to accomplish by blogging. I have recently found my purpose in life and keeping a journal of the things I am learning just seems to make sense.

It is most likely that there are others out there who are going through the same struggles I am and maybe something I learn can help them, too. That is how I have become who I am today -- I looked for others who had the same struggles as me and read what they wrote and tried to apply what they did. As I write that in past-tense, I realize that it should probably be present-tense because I am still young and it is a philosophy I live each day.

The title of my blog is Intentional Improvement. I have spent many hours in thought over this phrase. I first came across the idea when I heard an acronym for "life": Living Intentionally For Excellence. My parents taught me to work on myself and that in turn, someday I might change the world. I wanted to keep the title short but also packed with meaning. These two words can carry a lot of weight. 

Intentional: The dictionary I have on my Mac says, "done on purpose, deliberate." Wikipedia has some food for thought:

Intention is a mental state that represents a commitment to carrying out an action or actions in the future. Intention involves mental activities such as planning and forethought.

Folk psychology explains human behavior on the basis of mental states, including beliefs, desires, and intentions. Mental mechanisms, including intention, explain behavior in that individuals are seen as actors who have desires and who attempt to achieve goals that are directed by beliefs. Thus, an intentional action is a function to accomplish a desired goal and is based on the belief that the course of action will satisfy a desire.

I don't know how to describe it better than they put it here: some words just have a feeling that is difficult to describe. What I think about is whether I'm being intentional about my thoughts, words, actions, etc. Am I working deliberately on myself, my marriage, my purpose -- the things I have control over.

Improvement: an advance... in excellence or achievement (dictionary.com); to make better; to change in a positive direction.

So the idea of intentional improvement is basically to purposefully or deliberately make advances in excellence or achievement -- to be working towards excellence for a purpose.

My sincere desire is to encourage others who are on this same journey towards excellence and to inspire others to begin the journey. I know we all have the seeds of greatness in us, I want to help you see that in yourself and BELIEVE it. Where are you on this journey? Are you well on your way? Are you just starting out? Are you thinking about it? Is this the first time it has ever crossed your mind?